So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
