dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
