i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
