Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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