well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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