By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
