I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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