I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
