I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
