we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
