Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
