sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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