Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
