so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize