she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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