? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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