I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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