you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
