Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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