Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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