my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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