help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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