I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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