Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize