Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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