i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
