I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
