Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
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