I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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