I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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