I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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