Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
