ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I wish I only lived at night.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
