Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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