I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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