quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
