whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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