sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
