are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
