OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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