we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
