come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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