I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
