Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
