When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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