Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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