I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
