I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
