oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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