Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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