So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
