i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize