All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
