Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
