my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
