i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My penis needs a shock collar
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize