So drunk, too bad you don't want this
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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