she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize