I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm at about main and main street
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize