All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize