I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
