Say something about gay babies.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
