There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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